rotting at home :D

today is like monday still got like 6more days to school start. nothing much just missing jeremy badly and love him to the maximum until no words to say. morning as usual follow mother go eat breakfast and then wait for eaden to end school. after that headed back home rest after that then wait for my sister siew yen to end school. so today nothing stay at home and rest. other than that nothing else i can do at home facebook, blog watch show and nothing else. really very bored but when school start i think i want to sleep already. because too use to at home already. how ? how ?! but never mind this kind of things can overcome slowly. as long as i got things to do can already just so call waste my 2years in higher nitec doing nothing, depend on how i perform.

happy anniversary my dearest heartheart :D

firstly HAPPY 16TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY to jeremy ong bee teck and me (wendy low li chin) :D last long forever and love you forever. this month never celebrate because no money and don't know go where and is like 7pm he going to book in for camp already. so i decide not to spend money and just spend time with him i will be very happy already. today nothing much meet him about 3plus go whitesand after that go downtown to walk walk and then go to his house. very sad his father at home so ya, he should know what i mean. *Laugh. but we have enjoy ourselves. after that about 6plus went to whitesand to eat subway for our dinner. then he book in already will be seeing in a week time. take train to boon lay to meet my mum as she is at my third aunt house. i reach jurong point around 8plus then waited for my mum for like a few minute and went to fair price to buy some stuff and headed back home. one more week to go to school start.

100 centenary marching training :D

morning wake up damn early to go for the 100 centenary marching training. i was disappointed that i cannot be a contingent commander quite sad. but what to do my life is just sucks. firstly is the friends of shuqun awards at first thought is i am the only who take how i know at the end of the day is sharon and tracy have it too. i was like what the hell. they only like contribute in girl guides and young adult leader super little. and they is like standing the same position as me, i was damn piss off. but what to do they will once very close to teacher. for me is i need to damn hard to get what i want. people is just like don't need to work that hard also can stand the same place as you. can't you feel that it is just unfair to the one that put in alot of effort. aren't they are like shy or what that they really deserve it at all. they are no longer a young adult leader and they keep let the guides to called them YA they are not shy at all ? they are just very thick skins. but what to do my lucky is always like a piece of shit. where got people will bother about me at all. just only jeremy and no one. my family i don't whether is it a family. no one will know what is my life and how i feel. because most of my friends that are around me are must more fortunate then me, whatever they want they will have it. if not they have a bunch of good friends that will care for them. to me what is friends to me ? i really don't know, sometime don;t even know how to trust a friend. because i scare to get hurt like what happen to me and tracy. it been quite a number of year friendship can say more like sister. and now we have not been talking since last and things have change. so how heart pain i am. no one know, and i really want to let go. but how ? really it need to take time to forget. really very sad and she just treat it as nothing happen at all. because she just don't even bother about me, now she got alot of friends so lose 1 or 2 friends also never mind. to me really mean alot, but what to do people just don't care about our friendship whatever for keep like want to find a time to talk things out. but now i see don't need already. just forget this fucking friendship and all the memories that i have with her. just don't want to keep anything that belongs to her. after the 100 centenary marching training went to meet jeremy at pasir ris because planning to go to his house and sleep. after that night time then go eat dinner and meeting eugene later to eat dinner. it have been very long never see him already. not miss him, is just only that to me he is really a friend that is on in anything and he will be the joker of the day. that why i always say i love my nitec life the most. because really make quite a number of nice friends. never regret go to ITE at all. so today meet jeremy later then last week. because there are alot things need to finals because the actual day is next week already. alot of things need to be done.but actually is not my problem because i not involve in it. just do saka warrant, so nothing much to prepare. so i will just fuck it, maybe also don't even bother to go for the actual day. but just be't even because of the PNA point if not i don't even bother. i really good at enduring things. like how i endure my promoter job. i will do what i need to do and i will not bother others things. because i myself know what i will be doing and don't be a kpo to like want to do this and that.

girl guide training :D

morning as usual follow mother go bring little boy and eat breakfast. after that headed home, sister today never go school because parents meeting. so slack at home until about time to go shuqun girl guide training for  speech day. very unhappy because need to face sharon and tracy but lucky i look after the speech day girls and then they go train the guides that are not involve in the speech day doing marching too. but what to do, life is just nothing but unfair. never mind, just do my part can already don't need to bother on how people think about me. today speech day not bad, but still got room of improving. i have train my best to train them already hope they will learn and remember by heart. hope to see they will be improving and not to give up on guiding. our friendship seem to end already, i don't mind with it actually. because it seem to be everyone is saying is my fault fine with it. i don't even care at all. they to me is just nothing, only my seniors and nothing. seem they want to be like this then let it be. do i seem to treat me transparent then i will just treat them nothing to me. even though we have been like so call friend like for a few years already, i think so. but to me is just nothing only lose a friend, not my life. so to me is just nothing, since when i was small until now also don't have any true friend. so is like to me i got friend or not i don't even bother. last time i do, but now if people want to make friend i will okayy. will last long, don't even know at all. after guides training end went to plaza singapura to meet priya to buy some art material and then it is like very rush. because i meeting jeremy and i was like late about 30minutes. really very sorry my darling, i will try to meet you early next time okayy ? don't be angry with me okayy ? loveeeeee youuuu always :D

missing him right now :D

nothing much just normal, follow my mum early the morning go bring little boy eat breakfast. after that headed home, waited for my sister to end school go bring her. if not she will come back home herself depend on us. same thing missing jeremy ong bee teck to the maximum really can't wait to see him. i really scare i will neglect him once my NDP training start.i know he can understand but i will still feel bad no matter wait. finally he booking out tomorrow endure 1 more day.

life..

morning follow my mum go bring little boy and he never go to school. then we will like waited for him about 1hour and then came to the bus stop. never mind, then headed back home.about coming to 3pm went to shuqun for speech day training. as i helping mama liang to look after the guides and also train their marching. today training not that bad but they still need to improve their marching. to me is still not good because my marching standard is also very high. so sometime i just want to let them be prefect. am i doing the wrong things ? sometime i really don't know whether am i doing right or just want to show people that guides is only doing girl girl thing they also can do the hard training. i really have no idea, is it my problem or the guides member problem ? just hope all the training can be successful and they can have the feel of happiness when they are in guides meeting. i just don't like people who chose CCA because of CCA points and just anyhow chose. and then at the end of secondary school life they just regret joining the CCA that they have during secondary school. i just to train the guides to be a better person and really learn and know what they doing during the guiding life. like this at least when go ITE, POLY, JC or whatever school. when your friends will like ask what CCA you are in and what have you learn from your CCA. those people who don't know like the CCA they will just say how bad is the CCA and make it like from vitamin to culprit. after that about 6plus 7pm my dad came back home. he went to collect CDAC gifts, and the vouchers that he get is like ending tomorrow so only today we got time then we decide to go today after my sister tuition. so we like have $100 vouchers of BATA shop + POPULAR. so headed to jurong point to buy school shoe for my sister and go popular to buy stationary and whatever things that we need.  headed back home, reach about 9plus 10pm home. that end of my day. and today i miss jeremy waiting for him to book out on friday. 

missing him right now :D

today as usual again wake up early the morning follow my mum went to bring little boy, after that headed back home and rest. while waiting for my sister to end school. because my mother planning to bring them go library. when my sister reach home, ask her whether she got homework. then she got homework, after finish then went to library. about 4plus we reach library taking some of the book to read. stay there until about 6plus then leave the library headed back home. that end of my day.

speech day training :D

morning accompany my mum go bring little boy. never go to school again. what to do, now a days young parent just think that bring up a kid give education seem to be easy. but they are wrong, it doesn't mean that give their kid have everything in the world but not a basic manner. after bringing him to my house, rest for awhile and go fetch my sister from school as today she end early because is sport day. and my sister take part in the 4x100m run got 1st and she is very happy. after that stay at home slack until 1plus coming 2pm i am preparing to go shuqun secondary school for guides meeting. the reason i go back is that mrs liang need my help to train them footdrill as speech day is around the corner. the training end about 5plus 6pm home sweet home sweet. another marching training tomorrow at bishan HQ for the 100 centenary celebration 2011 which fall the same day as the speech day.

priya come my house :D

start from morning, wake up about 9.30am. prepare myself and go out with my mum to market to have breakfast and went to bring little boy as he never go school today. i think because he have not fully recover so the parent don't allow him to go to school. after that went to THE CHEVRONS to SAF eMart to help jeremy to buy his NS t-shirt. after that wait for time to meet priya. when priya have reach my area. thanks you to her for accompany me go bring my sister. at first want to go running ended never order MacDonald to eat. rest like for awhile and i decided to go running so went to so called slow jog. even though is slow jog but at least still got burnt some water. even though she accompany me by walking also not bad. my slow jog is equal to her walking. sorry never entertain her must today. but have enjoy the half day with her. finish talking about what i have done today. 2more days to go and i will be meeting jeremy and going out with him. really miss him, love him badly. nothing to talk about my feeling on how i miss a person until so bad. 

life..

today is being wake up by my mother. as usual wash up and prepare to go bring little boy. thought that he got to school ended when we reach went to his school to see whether he got come anot. then we saw him never come so thought that he will be late for school so went to eat breakfast with my mum then go to his school there to wait for his parent see whether they will call my mum. at the end never call then my mum call them then they say they bringing him going to see doctor. never mind i ask my mum walk to the clinic again when reach there the clinic is under renovation and they never even call and tell my mum really quite angry, but never mind my mum call them and ask where they are. guess what they say they at the coffee shop eating breakfast. never see doctor because they under renovation and the clinic that near their house change doctor so they decided not to see doctor. then my mum say that our market got a clinic that not bad. so they think about it they agree. so waited for them to finish eating then can bring him to my house. at first want to bring him go see doctor but is lunch time already so went home first. slack at home for awhile until 2pm then go bring him go see doctor. after that home bring sister and then home all the way until now. life is just nothing but staying at home.

boring...

life is just nothing but boring. i know is my problem that never go look for a proper job in the first place, so ended up become that i need to suffer and doing nothing at home. i know normally people no work never mind, can stay at home do housework help mum to do this do that. it is not a bad idea but the problem is no money. people will just say no choice i only left like 2weeks to school start, where got job want me, unless i go work as promoter again. but the problem is that promoter will burn my weekend and i need to accompany my heartheart. not because i want to accompany him is i want him to accompany me. because i just only scare that i will miss him very badly until i cannot endure. i always say people confirm cannot wait, but i scare is i am the one. that why i always tell myself that i must not neglect him. i can lose anything but not him. i know what my guider say is true but love is blind. just let it be, if i really got to chose friends or jeremy. i will chose him. but i really want to know whether is just because of him that i need to change this and that because he change because of me. sometime i really feel confuse whether is i really love him or owing him just to return him. but after a long thinking i think i really love him because alot of things is slowly changing in my life because of him. i don't really mean anything just sometime i too bored at home will anyhow thinks this think that. cannot blame me, nothing to do at home just to keep using facebook, watching drama... i really very scare and i really can't take it this kind of life already. it is too simple. i realise everything is all i say, is i want simple life. too simple complaint too stress complaint i really don't know what i want. anyone can tell me, i think god also cannot help me in this. the only person who know is myself because if i myself also cannot recognise myself who can. if i don't know who i actually are who knows ? no one, only me. i think life is just always have up and down emotional. if not people will not grow up will not understand how difficult life will be and learn how to face it and overcome. i know i have been posting in blog about my life, is because this is my blog and i can post whatever feeling i really have. and people who understand that good if don't understand i have nothing say but at least is the best place to post out all the feeling that i have in my heart. but i still got alot of things want to say but don't know start from where and i myself also don't know what is it. like today talk to priya and heartheart i really feel that today i like weird weird never really listening to their talking.

slacking at home :(

everyday staying at home nothing to do just slacking and slacking until school start. really miss those day in school with my classmates. go school at least better then staying at home nothing to do. really very bored to the maximum. i really very bored, i only know that staying at  home is just nothing. only weekend can see my boyfriend because he book out. really miss him but what to do just only wait wait times will pass fly. want to look for job to work also difficult don't know what to work as and some more only left a few more days then school start. life really very bored without doing anything. at least jeremy got NS training to spent his days forme nothing but slacking at home watching drama show to pass my time. really very bored just want to faster school start but when school start i think i will rather stay at home. but what to do, this my life. even though school abit bored but never mind at least got money and time pass fast. i really regret for taking the promoter job in the first if not until now i think i still doing the admin work. but what so ever it is, what is done is already done so no point complaining now. now only waiting for time to pass for school to start counting down jeremy NS life and nothing much. when school start is counting down for holiday. life is just like this, nothing much. sometime want to blog but don't know what to blog because my english not that good and i just type whatever my heart, my mind is thinking or feeling and nothing much. some more i like don't have much true friends, really want a proper friend can't i have it ? is it my character problem or is it i treat friends for granted ? don't appreciate their helps ? i really don't know, i just want to give up on myself. don't know what to do.

yesterday & today :D

yesterday and today posts. yesterday lazy to posts, so posts it today. yesterday went to bring little boy back from school. after that went to aunt house to steam my hair, it have been 2weeks after rebonding need to do steam need make my hair be smooth. when done with my hair came back home and rest for like awhile need to go fetch sister from school. that all for yesterday. today the same wake up in the morning and accompany my mum go bring little boy. but today he never go school due to his having a fever. so went to 500plus to bring him home. then reach home already slack until my sister end school and today is my mum go and bring her back. at first i will be staying at home one whole day, but because of my sister forget to take things from teacher so accompany her to go school take at the end of the day the teacher went home already then wasted my time go there. that is for today dairy.

book in :D

today heartheart book in already, went to meet him suppose to run ended up never run. never mind, slack at his house for awhile and then go to his aunt house. go there just like show face for awhile about an hour or maybe abit longer then heartheart went back home to prepare himself for book in about 6.25pm. today quite early but never mind. this time round i wait for him to board the bus then i go take train and home sweet home. so today nothing much just spend the day with him until he book in, because he book out i never went to pick up him. because to me i think no point if i go pick up him i only can see him for a few minutes and need to go home if too late lazy to take train need cab waste money again. so i plan meet him on saturday and if i am free sunday him and send him to pasir ris interchange. love him, miss him mucaksssss :D

19 March 2011

just reach home and is like 12midnight already and is sunday. so whatever memories that i had on saturday will update at today dates. ok, will talk about i had done yesterday. accompany my mum to fetch grandma goto back, bring jonathan go eat breakfast at KFC. bring sister from tuition to grandma house and then went to meet jeremy. reach pasir ris about 2plus. slack at his all the way until 8plus then go to elais mall to eat dinner. he spent about 100plus on the foods and drinks. but he just want to pamper the mum once in awhile because she had suffer alot in her life. cannot say too much about her, because still knowing her in progress. about 10plus going to 11pm i then board a cab headed to grandma house to meet my mum and when i reach grandma house is like 11.30pm. and she is still playing majong, waited for her like a few minute and finally she had finishing playing majong. home sweet home 3rd uncle gave cab fair to go home. reach home about 12plus. jeremy going to book in today 6,25pm at pasir ris interchange, will be meeting him in the morning for exercise and then accompany all the way until he book in. sleeping soon, nights reader update more later in the day. take care, have a nice day ahead :D

book out :D

today is jeremy book out day. can see him tomorrow, so happy. today early the morning meet hannah to go school together to register our higher nitec course. at first hannah suppose to be 1.30pm because need to help fusheng to look after her because he scare that hannah blur blur. then never mind, accompany her. then we register for higher nitec buy uniforms. after that went to priya house to slack. around 4pm go home, i think i too lazy already never go meeting. i just wonder whether i fix to be in their group. but never mind, whatever it is to me as long as i finish this year young adult leader things next year don't need to involve already. just do whatever i can now first. wondering what jeremy going to plan for me. hope got surprise.

feeling miserable :(

today suppose to go for training, but at the end of the day i just don't know why i never go. never mind, so where do i go. 6plus i leave home, walk to market to take bus to boon lay, reach boon lay eat breakfast alone, take bus 30 to bedok was feeling terrible throughtout the journey but due to no choice  i endure until i reach bedok then get a proper breathing. after that slack slack awhile, then take train to jurong east. reach jurong east walk to IMM shop around then planning to walk home then mum call me to go NTUC to buy things. so walk back to buy and then walk home. finally can rest but still need to bring my sister from school and go bring her through and fro from tuition :D so my day today is just simply pass quite fast but abit bored. due to because my throat is making a fool on me. really very pain and it make me feel like coughing like shit. tomorrow jeremy going to book out already but not going to fetch him, will be seeinng him on saturday. wondering what he is going to prepare for our date on saturday, just hope that he really got plan if not i think very bored already.

27 days :D

as usual today nothing much and it is the worse day i had. not really feeling well make until i very tired but cannot keep sleeping. so keep watch dram use facebook. but nothing much to do, never mind. today was like rotting at home like hell. just can't take it, want to go out. but no money. so just endure stay at home and see how. life is like that, no work, no school so stay at home rot. tomorrow i think will be a tiring day. hope everything will be fine. will be seeing him 3days time :D

today (-)

today wake up damn early to bring my sister go school and then accompany my mum go NTUC to buy stuff for the weeks. due to because grandma stay at my house so she cannot go market and buy. was like rot at home while waiting for priya to come my house accompany me go running. thanks you to her that i have run i think 3rounds and lose some fats. *laugh. after running came back home and i was like damn tired and weak. i think i am going to fall sick any time. is it love sick, i think so. because is like i got alot of stress and just want a shoulder to lean. but i am just unlucky that he is in NS. but never mind, i will learn to be self discipline and don't always rely on people too much. i must show jeremy that i have self confident. that all for today.

Life sucks :D

why you want me to stop thinking, missing, love you ?? really very confusing. am i just being a sucks person in  this world ? i really don't who am i sometime, alot of things keep make me don't know what to do. it can seem that it is just small matter but i can just make it like very confusing and complicated. i really don't know. just feeling sucks like hell, i think now a days will be alot of reflection that i need to make. i think to manage my time well, if not i think i lose alot of things in my life. seriously i just want to live peaceful but it seem that i always is a failure doing it. it make me like no life, just end it maybe will not have so many problem that i need to face. i just think that i am a failure because i don't even dare to face the problem that i have and then the outcome will be confusing and complicated. after that don't know where the problem will lies on it. i really feel sucks just want heartheart shoulder to rest on it but he in NS. then why must i make myself so busy until i myself cannot even take it. life really is just like you don't know what will happen in the next moment and how am i going to overcome it.