what is friends ?

what is friends for? i really wonder, is it need you then they will treat you very nice after that don't need to than heck care you. i really don't know, because i don't really believe in friendship. because which one is true friends which one is just only make use of me. i cannot identify it, maybe i think i just thinks that everything will be fine without friends. but the problem comes when you don't have a friends that can heart to heart talk, go shopping whereas mine boyfriend don't really like. some more the worst things is that mine boyfriend going to NS soon who is going out with me? who is celebrating mine birthday with me? i don't know, will they remember mine birthday? there are too many questions i am asking myself. is it i don't trust anyone and chose to trust anyone make until myself like very selfish. i really don't how to solve this kind of problem. people problem i can give advice this and that but it happen on me, i really don't know how to do it. just confuse, i scare this scare that then i forever will not find a true friends where by they will care about you help you solve your problem be there for you when you breakdown will not look down on you will not betray you. there is alot of things that will come to mine mind whether should i trust this this this. i think i am the only one that i will think that, it is like very stupid lor. if like that they will just think that i don't trust them so what the point to be mine friends. so i always act that i can clique with them, but to me i feel that i am always very extra being there. example like mine young adult are like english educated all study like ploy, JC, university me ITE. i know they don't mind but sometime i do mind. because i got alot of things they know i don't know. will always thinks how long can our friendship last? what will happen if one day i was lonely only the path with no friendship no relationship no family. i think in this world i will be lonely. but i think the only things will not really happen is family, no matter how naughty i am family will still the best because they know better, understand me. even though something argue but only for awhile and then talk to each other again. that why people say family is always the best. even though how much bad things we do they believe that we will responsible for the act that i do. friendship i will not say anything just see what kind of fate friends i will make.